Toxic Art Heroes
When I wrote a reply to Anmol Mehta‘s post about “how to become an early riser” I felt something changed. Not that his article was intended to be life changing, however it ever so subtly triggered something within me. A new urge to fulfill my own personal destiny. Forgive me for sounding esoteric here yet I discovered something profoundly disturbing.
When I was little I instinctively knew what I had to do and whether it was right or wrong. Even growing into adulthood I kept this child-like attitude and naiveté, and it was good because although it got me into a lot of trouble it made me go further then I normally would have. Be free to dream and just go on trying to live that dream.
Then something changed. I could bore you with details but the back-story shall be reserved for those who venture into my path 
Reading Anmol’s post changed something small and although I could feel the tickles, I didn’t know what would happen. While surfing, looking for certain pictures to entertain a slow weekday evening, I came across something that turned out to be something more than I bargained for.
That’s when I found Toxy (aka Val) a model, artist and entrepreneur from Canada. She’s a character, a “type” of person that interests me because she’s doing something I’m not but aspire to do. She’s living her dreams. She’s re-creating the images in her head with the help of her photographer and videographer friends like Imunme.
The best word I find to describe her art is “noire”. Like film noire or those really dark and artsy horror / splatter films (think Sin City or Dark City, Pi, …). Nothing too abstract but playing on the borderline. Pushing it a little further, sometimes perhaps crossing it. The emotion the light and images produce have touched another trigger in me. Made me remember that I actually love this stuff and aspire to turn those fantastic themes in my head into something I can communicate to others.
Here I am, typing away at 3am on a Friday night after spending the last three hours watching “heroes“! It’s another trigger. Not that I want to be heroic, in fact I hardly know how to spell that. But it’s sci-fi’esque, comic art with a touch of this “noire”. Call me unhappy, frustrated or bitter. But I really think this big camera sitting on my floor should be put to better use than filming ice hockey and motor racing (albeit much enjoyed).
Am I feeling stuck in a (day) job that doesn’t make me go anywhere?
Yes
Am I unhappy being in a place surrounded by people and a culture I cannot relate to?
Yes
Am I sad for having lost1 someone who I called the love of my life?
You bet
Can you relate to this?
I think it’s time for me to stop playing all those “movies” in my head and get the hell out there and start living my life again! So who wants to come creating with me?
BTW Jens called after a long time again. Another button pressed and in due time… . I wonder what will happen next.
1 – No, she’s not dead! We just mutually agreed that long distance doesn’t work for us…
Photo copyrighted by Imunme / Toxy
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