PHP, MySQL Can Go To Hell

I thought I’d never say this, and others who know me will probably put it down to unhealthy influence by Sebastian, but I will say it out loud for I can no longer keep it quiet…

PHP and MySQL and most open or closed sourced projects based on it suck!

Some don’t, most seem to just like most of the over-hyped web X.0 enabled malware. Now please don’t get me wrong, I love open source and if I had enough money I’d happily pay for clean code, but most stuff I have to come across is just rubbish.

PHP isn’t really a programming language for starters and MySQL is unreliable and unsuitable for anything larger than a personal blogging site. The alternatives are there but since I’m not a proper hacker (not good with languages you see…) I can only but rely on other peoples work. And that in particular sucks. All I want is for a piece of software to do as I tell it and while RAD (rapid application development) may be nice it’s mostly overrated and primarily suitable for biz-type devs that want to impress their bosses.

I am still looking for something nice and lean, clean even. I don’t want to spend time worrying more about how to secure the latest phpbb version from script kiddies nor do I want to chroot every website on my server.

OK, enough of the ranting. I have a few ideas for a simple and universal CMS… . OMG! I’ve heard this so many times and SourceForge is full of abandoned projects like it. But I will do it, at least all the planning, front end and documentation (three of the most important things - to users anyway - I might add).

Some basics then:

- It’s not PHP / MySQL
- It should be Perl, XML and (perhaps) Berkeley DB
- It’s not cool AJAX web2.0
- It will be usesable usability (who needs those transition fX anyway?)
- It will be extendible through a simple modular structure and go whereever one needs it to go
- It will be as secure as can be by integrating existing security features of the server and programming language
- It will be very simple and logical without lacking ability
- It will be easy to write a god darn theme for the thing without having to touch the code base!
- It will, therefore, know the difference between content and design.
- It won’t require a dual CPU to run and neither will it require permissions it shouldn’t have
- It won’t be a framework
- It won’t be 100MB when untarred

Actually I might pull this off with a little help from Ralf & Co. since my job requires just such a vapourware dream-come-true system.

Oh well I better had gotten on with it then…